by Mark Steyn, February 23, 2011
Listening to lifelong regime
toadies belatedly call
for the seizure of Mubarak's assets or calibrate the precise
moment when it's safe to demand the
overthrow of the strongman you've happily served all your life, I'm reminded of
the Hakim of Bahrain's visit to London for the Queen's Coronation in 1953. Late
in the evening, at the end of the banquet, the diminutive Sheikh Salman came
upon the Prime Minister, Winston Churchill, sitting at the bottom of a
staircase, and attempted to ingratiate himself with a view to winning support
for some land claim Bahrain had against Qatar. It had been a bibulous night and
Sir Winston was in no mood to discuss the fine points of Arabian territorial
disputes.
"Tell him," the PM
instructed David Weir, Britain's Political Resident in Bahrain and
"gentleman in attendance" to the non-English-speaking Hakim,
"tell him that we never desert our friends." Pause. "Unless we
have to."
As Ben Ali and Mubarak and
Gaddafi have discovered, their "friends" have reached the point when
they "have to". Nothing personal. That's just the way it is. Insofar
as any comparisons to Europe in 1989 are valid, it's Romania: The most perilous
moment for any dictatorship is when the strongman's flunkeys conclude he's
outlived his usefulness.
Since Sheikh Salman's day, the
Hakims have upgraded themselves to Emirs and then Kings. What comes next? In
Bahrain, a Sunni royal family rules a largely Shia population. By the time the
dust settles, what emerges in the Gulf monarchies is likely to be regimes far
friendlier to Iran, if not in fact wholly owned Iranian subsidiaries. What
emerges in Egypt is likely to be a regime far more hostile to Israel. There are
different local factors in play from the Mahgreb to the Shatt al-Arab, but if
you want a shorthand for the region as a whole, think of it this way: It's the
dawn of the post-western Middle East.
There are two phases to recent
Arab history. The modern Middle East was an Anglo-French concoction, cooked up
by London and Paris somewhat haphazardly after the collapse of the Ottoman
Empire. In the waning of British and French imperial power after World War Two,
Washington and Moscow stepped into the breach, in many cases replacing
sputtering monarchies with strongmen of a secular pan-Arab nationalist bent.
Say what you like about
dynastic rulers but generally they're beyond ideology: in a sense, a king is
his own ideology. When you replace an hereditary monarch with a designated
sonofabitch, it's easy to get misled into thinking he represents some force larger
than himself. As we now know, Mubarak represented nobody and nothing: Both
"Nasserism", the ideology that propped up the regime in its first two
decades, and the region's broader post-war secular nationalism were fictions,
and unsustainable ones. An hour or so after the dictator fell, I said to Megyn
Kelly on Fox that we were witnessing "the unraveling of the American
Middle East".
That's looking at it from our
point of view. Looking at it from theirs, the regimes are belatedly aligning
themselves with demographic reality. Across the last half-century, the
chancelleries of the great powers invested their effort in maintaining
"stability": The result was that governments were superficially
stable while their populations wholly transformed - and a huge chasm opened up
between an ever more Islamic populace and the regimes they're ruled by. Say
what you like about Mubarak but he wasn't into female genital mutilation.
Unfortunately for him, his people were - or at any rate the menfolk were. So he
banned it. Because he's a dictator, and what he says goes, right? And the net
result of that ban is that, on the day he fell, precisely 91 per cent of the
country's women were estimated to have undergone FGM: Long before the
"Facebook Revolution", Egypt voted
with its clitorises.
Likewise, say what you like
about Colonel Gaddafi but a guy who hires as bodyguards his own personal
detachment of Austin Powers fembots is unlikely to be hung up on the small
print of this or that hadith. The trajectory we're now on has less to do with
"social media" than with Monday's fatwa by Imam Qaradawi, Egypt's
Khomeini wannabe, calling for the
assassination of Gaddafi.
The eminent scholar dismisses
the Gaddafi clan as "swords of pre-Islamic ignorance" - which shows
you how he regards what's underway: The anciens régimes were
"pre-Islamic", which means that what follows will be ...more
Islamic.
Last week I wrote about the
laziness of inevitablism - the
assumption that social progress moves only in one direction. I see that The
Ottawa Citizen's Dan Gardner, a man strangely obsessed for one so hunky
with trying
to attract my attention, is now mocking me for waxing nostalgic for the
Egyptian monarchy:
Here's Mark Steyn pining for
King Farouk. Cheering on democracy in the Arab world? That's so 2005.
I'll stand by that - if only
because the messy fledgling multiparty Iraq of 2005 has far more in common with
Egypt under Farouk than it does with Egypt under Mubarak. The Kingdom of Egypt
in the period between 1922 and 1952 was flawed and ramshackle and corrupt, but
it got closer to a functioning, pluralist society than anything in the 60 years
since. For example, in 1923, Egypt's first full year as a sovereign state, the
country's Minister of Finance was a man called Joseph Cattaui, a Member of
Parliament and a Jew.
Try to imagine that now: a Jew
serving as an Arab Muslim nation's Finance Minister - or even getting elected
as an obscure backbench MP. Sounds like something from a Give-peace-a-chance
multifaith fantasy. But it actually happened - and then it stopped happening,
and then it became inconceivable for it to happen ever again under any
plausible scenario.
The Egyptian royal house
(descended from Albanians) was nobody's idea of a punctilious constitutional
monarchy, and Jews there had a rough couple of years in the 1940s. But the
Kingdom of Egypt was a better deal than anything that followed. The CIA thought
so little of Farouk that their plan to depose him was codenamed "Operation
Fat Fucker". Ha-ha. The fuckers they replaced him with had the last laugh.
Nasser rounded up Jews for "Zionist activities", removed them from
Parliament, confiscated their businesses, and closed down their newspapers. Do
you think Imam Qaradawi's minded to see a Jewish Finance Minister back in
Cairo? Alas, there are no Jews left now - but there are still plenty of Copts
to stick it to.
Colonel Gaddafi? On seizing
power in 1969, he immediately canceled any debts owed to Libyan Jews and
confiscated all their property. A postwar Jewish population of 40,000 fell on
his watch to zero: The last Libyan Jew, Esmeralda Meghnagi, died in 2002, and
with her one of the oldest Jewish communities on earth. And in much of the
Middle East - including, disgracefully, the de facto American protectorate of
Iraq - the Christian community is headed the same way.
The Middle East got worse. The
Anglo-French-installed monarchies of the mid-20th century were less bad than
the Russo-American-backed dictators of the late 20th century. As for the early
21st, the new Middle East will be friendlier to the Muslim Brotherhood and
friendlier to Iran - and less friendly to western interests than at any time
since the discovery of oil.
"We never desert our
friends. Unless we have to."
And by the time we had to,
they'd been comprehensively deserted by massive sociocultural demographic
factors the realpolitik crowd gave barely a thought to. And, absent a strategy
for battling ideology and ideas, we'll just have to live with whatever's next.
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