The
Operatic Grandeur Of "More Europe"
by Mark J. Grant
Europe is becoming
quite strange. The World is becoming quite strange. A politician gets
up and speaks and says nothing, no one listens to what he said, then he is
roundly congratulated for his bold words that were heard by no one and then
everyone disagrees with what they think he might have said. The
Continent seems to be in a dream-state where the worse it gets; the better it
is because the ECB will be drawn in and provide liquidity like the ever-after
will provide Redemption. I am not sure America is any better actually. In the
United States we admit we are printing money while in Europe they “print and
deny” but the outcome is about the same.
It is a weird
economic scene these days, a Dali landscape that is melting, when worse is
better and our leaders intone the old magic; “the higher, the fewer; the never,
the less.” I expect, any day, that the ECB will buy all of the sovereign debt of
Europe and declare each nation “debt free and without risk.” It will be a
gigantic do-over where the ECB is to be re-capitalized by odd aliens that we
have not yet met. Greece falls and falls again and the EU demands a plan, which
is given, and we herald their actions for yet one more plan that will never be
implemented and “God Save the Queen.” Portugal falls and Ireland falls and
Spain drafts a new plan, as directed, so that they can get more money and the
markets rejoice because it is one more scheme that has all of the chance of
implementation of the Tudors taking the Spanish throne.
On the other hand
I suppose it is because we cannot invest money off-world either so that we are
stuck within the boundaries of what is available and something must be done
with the paper printed by all of the Central Banks but it is getting
increasingly difficult to make much sense of it. I sometimes feel, with
the announcement of each piece of bad economic news as the markets rally, that
it means that the Divinity is coming, disguised as a Central Bank, and that we
should all close our eyes and partake of the ecstasy of the Saints as we and
they receive Stigmata. I must be unclean and unwashed and not worthy
as I have received none of blessings bestowed upon the sanctified believers. I
watch, I wonder, I gape in fact and ponder just when reality will intrude back
into our make-believe state of existence.
"’Tis but a Midsummer Nights Dream"
-William
Shakespeare
Three Card Monti
You knew it would
come to this! I smiled, all alone in my oak paneled office, I smiled and was
delighted that it was finally put into writing. The German Chancellor had sung
the tune from the rafters; belted out “More Europe” and it is a catchy tune
designed for the entire Opera House of the Continent. She has formed the Aria
into melodious tones and captured the hearts of her audience until they
believed and fell into the Rapture that it was “Money for Nothing” and that the
German’s and their bed fellows would provide it whenever asked all in the name
of the national anthem which she had so wonderfully performed.
Monti had
approached the altar and was received into the flock.
The first move made
in the newest version of Three Card Monti is Mr. Monti’s “The European Central Bank should
not impose extra economic conditions on nations using its bond-buying
mechanism and the International Monetary Fund shouldn’t have an oversight
role.”This sleight of hand may be translated into English as “We do not
want to be audited either by the IMF or by the ECB; we do not need any
foreigners looking at our books because that would be a disaster. We should be
given the money for free which is the transformational theme of the Aria sung
by Ms. Merkel entitled ‘More Europe.”
“Countries such as
Italy and Spain are reluctant to request the bond-buying they championed
because of uncertainty about what conditions the Central Bank would seek to
impose,” said Mr. Monti as he moved the next shell ahead of the last one. The
English definition here is that “We do not want conditions. We do not want
anyone telling us how to behave. We do not want the Troika in Rome or Madrid. We
just want the money that you have told us that you would give us when we want
it. We love the German Chancellor’s rendition of ‘More Europe’ but we
do not wish to pay for hearing it. You told us about the Opera but you never
said we would have to purchase tickets for the performance.”
“Oversight should
be limited to establishing checks so the countries behave in a
positive way,” Mr. Monti said in a recent interview. This may be translated
into the formalized checks such as “How was lunch? Was the fettuccini cooked
properly? Everything going ok? Need any more money today or can we wait
until tomorrow?” The very incorrect Italian translation would be, “You must
reduce your deficit. The austerity measures that you agreed to must be actually
implemented. You cannot give government jobs to family members. Our money is
not your money and has to be repaid regardless of how loudly and often you sing
‘More Europe’ on the steps of the Vatican.”
So Here We Are
Good is bad. Bad
is wonderful. “More Europe” was written in Babylon and no one can understand
the meaning. Economic and fiscal reality is a thing of the past as the
world’s Central Banks will provide manna, sustenance and well-being. It
is not just the ECB but the markets that are “unlimited and uncapped” and the
conditions, there are always conditions I assert, while ignored for the moment,
have a funny way of rounding the corner and saying “Hello” just when you don’t
expect them. This is where we are as we round the corner. This is where we are
going I predict. Good will become good and bad will become bad once more
You may say, “It
ain’t so” but I say that it is.
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