Lone
parents, once the easy target of the New Right, are now being championed by the
family-fearing state
London Tube trains are carrying an advert for a sperm clinic based in the
capital. One of its target audiences is ‘women contemplating single
motherhood’. In other words, the clinic is offering women the chance to have a
baby without even having to have sex with a man, let alone forge a long-term
relationship. So far at least, there have been no shrill denouncements in the Mail or the Express, no junior Tory
minister condemning such ‘immoral behaviour’. Clearly, the days when moral
opprobrium would be heaped on unmarried women who raise children alone are long
gone. Today, in fact, it is more likely that a Conservative minister criticising
single mums would be booted out to the back benches.
Indeed, a
Centre for Social Justice report published last week on the rise of
single-parent families in the UK struggled to make the headlines. Aside from a
technical complaint that family break-ups cost the taxpayer ‘£46 billion a
year’, no public figure felt sufficiently confident to make a judgement about
single-parent households. Many commentators, preferring a culturally
relativistic stance, argued that single-parent households are as good as the
nuclear family.
This eager
toleration of single mothers might seem like a welcome and progressive
development. Yet there is something odd about the fact that the official
acceptance, even encouragement, of single mothers goes hand in hand with
suspicion of intimacy and autonomy in the nuclear family. It’s because the
journey of single mothers from being social pariahs to being socially accepted
is often guided by the same impulse as that which drives state attitudes to the
family: namely, the impulse to regulate personal relationships.





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