He who seeks in manners anything other than manners themselves is destined for crudity
by Theodore Dalrymple
by Theodore Dalrymple
My late friend, the development economist Peter Bauer,
had the most beautiful manners: so beautiful that I took them for my model.
Alas, I could never equal them for, though not particularly ill-mannered, I
have always to remember to behave well. Just as style in prose
should be imperceptible, as the uniquely perfect vehicle for what is
said and indissoluble therefrom, so manners should be unconscious, not added to
conduct but intrinsic to it. They should not arise from reflection but from a
habit so deeply ingrained that, however much they might once have been
instilled or learned, they are now entirely natural and normal to the person
who has them. And since their purpose is to ease social intercourse and make it
agreeable, they should not be carried to the point of making anyone
uncomfortable, turning them into mere etiquette in order to distinguish those
who know how to behave from those who do not.
Peter Bauer used to say that Mrs Thatcher had two
great achievements to her name (and only two): that she destroyed the power of
the trade unions and that she raised him to the peerage. It was a matter of
pride to him, tinged by ironical amusement, that he, the son of a Budapest
bookmaker, should now sit in the British House of Lords; but the fact that he
did so confirmed one of his most deeply held convictions, that a class society
was not at all the same thing as a closed society. Social hierarchy is
perfectly compatible with social mobility, as the maliciously misunderstood
history of his adopted country amply demonstrated.