Is Japan providing a glimpse of all our futures?
The Guardian
Ai Aoyama is a sex and relationship counsellor who
works out of her narrow three-storey home on a Tokyo back street... she did
"all the usual things" like tying people up and dripping hot wax on
their nipples. Her work today, she says, is far more challenging. Aoyama,
52, is trying to cure what Japan's media calls sekkusu shinai shokogun, or
"celibacy syndrome".
...
Japan's under-40s appear to be losing interest in
conventional relationships. Millions aren't even dating, and increasing numbers
can't be bothered with sex. For their government, "celibacy syndrome"
is part of a looming national catastrophe. Japan already has one of the world's
lowest birth rates. Its population of 126 million, which has
been shrinking for the past decade, is projected to plunge a further one-third
by 2060. Aoyama
believes the country is experiencing "a flight from human intimacy" –
and it's partly the government's fault.
...
The number of single people has reached a record high.
A survey in 2011 found that 61% of unmarried men and 49% of women aged 18-34
were not in any kind of romantic relationship, a rise of almost 10% from five
years earlier. Another study found that a third of people under 30 had never
dated at all. (There
are no figures for same-sex relationships.) Although there has long been a
pragmatic separation of love and sex in Japan – a country mostly free of
religious morals – sex fares no better. A survey earlier this year by the Japan
Family Planning Association (JFPA) found that 45% of women aged 16-24 "were not interested
in or despised sexual contact". More than a quarter of men felt the same
way.
Official alarmism doesn't help. Fewer babies were born
here in 2012 than any year on record. (This was also the year, as the number of
elderly people shoots up, that adult incontinence pants outsold baby nappies in
Japan for the first time.) Kunio Kitamura, head of the JFPA, claims
the demographic crisis is so serious that Japan "might eventually perish
into extinction".
...
"Both men and women say to me they don't see the
point of love. They don't believe it can lead anywhere," says Aoyama. "Relationships have become
too hard."
Marriage has become a minefield of unattractive
choices. Japanese
men have become less career-driven, and less solvent, as lifetime job security
has waned. Japanese women have become more independent and ambitious.